Monday, May 5, 2014

we found love in a hopeless place

... also known as my trip to Macedonia and the people I met during that time

What I am going to write here today is something that stirs something deep within me. My trip to Macedonia was unforgettable! I would never have imagined that I would meet the people I did. That I would laugh as much as I did. I would never have seen that coming. My expectations were as low as ever and arriving to Skopje did not change much (believe me- this is THE most random city I've ever seen). I mean- the contact we had had with the organisers up to this point had been fantastic- but still I had no idea what to expect.

What I experienced during these seven short days in Macedonia was filled with wonders. I met people that will never ever go away from my heart and that I will never forget - saying this means a lot to me. I mean- I've been through that already... I lived in Norway for a year, I have hosted projects before and my own German Brother lived with me for a year... and yet at the end of it I still cried. Because those people meant more to me than some of the people I've known for my whole life ever will.

I have arranged some pictures below that convey what I can not. These pictures, quotes, words... all of them may be used to express how I feel about this week in Macedonia, in Kruševo.

I could say I am finifugal. What I did during my last day and night in Macedonia was pure denial. And yet, being back in Estonia what I feel is described in the next noun. I want to go back to the illusion of reality that was there. I want to have that feeling and freedom and I know that this is long gone. I know what this will never be the same again and I also know that this can never be the same again - even if it was with the same people. But some things have to remain in the past and we just have to remember how these things made us feel. 





And this kind of people are the ones that I met and befriended in Macedonia. These are the ones that were free to do whatever. The ones that will remain in my heart for a long long time and the ones I can not.. will not ever forget. This kind of people were the ones I never wanted to leave.
 Yet again something I experienced in Macedonia - conversations. The kind of conversations I will miss and I already do. The kind of conversations where you can say whatever and give your opinion and people will either agree or disagree and it is OK and you will chat and talk and you will open yourself up and let people come in and take a peak at your soul and your thoughts and mind and you will talk until the very early hours of morning and yet you are not tired the next day. 

Saudade has already taken over my life and myself. Kruševo.. the place and the people may be far away but they'll always be right here with me as well.



kista.

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